Need a Taxi?
by Maelynn Meep
Summary: Takes place during the Penultimate Peril. Remember the taxi driver? Not Kit! The OTHER guy. I think I know who he was...


**Need a Taxi?**

_By Tuba321_

**A/N:** Yes. I _am_ a Lemony Snicket fan. So writing about him _rocks_!! Anyway, for those who have read the Penultimate Peril, remember the taxi driver? Not Kit. The other guy. I _think_ I know who he was. : P

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the rights to any of the books. I do own the hardbacks though.

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_"They didn't know. But, I know and I wish they knew,_

_if you know what I mean."_

--Lemony Snicket (The Miserable Mill)

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**T**hursday. That word ran through his mind. Another word, or rather words. _Hotel Denouement_. He needed to get there he must get there. The last safe place. About to be ruined by the wickedness of the world. If you wanted to be optimistic, you wouldn't say that. But, in his lifetime and his experience-- Being optimistic wouldn't help.

In the street about twelve miserable miles from the hotel, Lemony Snicket stood. Looking as if he needed a taxi. He didn't _want_ a taxi. Who knows who the driver might be? How to tell? Wicked or noble? Questions like these always go through a volunteer's head.

It was dark, around two in the morning of Wednesday. _"Wednesday." _He thought. "_Tomorrow."_ He was in desperate need of transportation. The thought of walking came to his head and he thought he was rather take the chances with a taxi.

He walked by a small coffee shop. Huge hedges were surrounding the building along with the sweet smell of cinnamon. Looking at the hedges, Lemony noticed something. A huge hole. No one would have noticed it because inside the whole was a taxi. A taxi had crashed into a bush? Not likely.

He looked in the driver's seat. A key. Still in the ignition. He thought something he hadn't thought in a long time. _"Lucky me..."_ Lemony jumped into the not surprisingly unlocked vehicle.

He looked around the car. The key was attached to a key chain which still unsurprisingly was in the shape of the V.F.D. eye. A French horn was in the backseat. He checked the glove compartment for suspicious items but, all he found was the ingredients for a sandwich.

Turned the key, car starting. _BANG!! _"What the--" _BANG!!_

For a moment he feared that the car had problems. But, no. The sound was coming from the trunk. Lemony got out and made his way toward the back of the car. The trunk had popped open. A lady was inside. She was wearing her blond hair up in a bun with two chop sticks coming out of her hair. Gold rimed glasses governing her face and her clothes looking Chinese and foreign.

"What are you doing in there?" Asked Lemony. Not with surprise.

"Waiting for you of course." Said the woman. "Are you who I think you are?"

Lemony Snicket's first response to that would usually be "I don't know what you're talking about" or "I'm just a writer" but, this lady did seem to be in touch with his sister. So instead he asked. "Do you know Kit?"

The woman smiled. "That's _exactly_ what she said you'd say." Still in the trunk she shook his hand. "Hello. I'm Valerie."

"So, what are you doing in there?"

Valerie's smile faded. "The _Hotel_ _Denouement._ Thursday. We have some volunteers over there watching people and Kit wants you to go in the taxi and, if things are bad, ask them if they want to leave."

"Who are the volunteers?" Asked Lemony.

"Oh, you should be familiar with them. The Baudelaires."

With that he nodded. If the Baudelaires needed saving then that's what he'd do. Already haven written some of their unfortunate books, he didn't want to write more.

"I'll be in the trunk just in case." Said Valerie. She closed the trunk from the inside.

He stood there for a few more moments and walked toward the driver's side. Starting the car again and heading for _The Hotel Denouement_.

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Lemony reached the hotel at about two fifty on Wednesday morning. It was dark still. Dark as a crow flying through a pitch black night.

The guests of the hotel looked as if they were about to form an angry mob and burn down the hotel. Occasionally he could hear shouting of confusion and the occasional comment about a person's mother. Three people in concierge uniforms were out front apparently arguing about what to do next.

He got out of the taxi.

As he did he picked up a cigarette and a lighter. Lighted up the cigarette and put the lighter in his pocket. A perfect disguise.

He walked up to, what now he could see as, children. They stared at him. "Do you need a taxi?" He asked.

**THE END**

**A/N:** You know what happeneds after that. They don't go and Lemony Snicket drives off sad. Cries REVIEW!! please...


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